I have recently taken inspiration from Mark Manson after reading “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck”. The following points from Mark’s writing really resonated with me as a mediator.
- Emotional pain lets you know in which ways to improve your life. It teaches us.
- Adversity and failure are helpful and essential for developing.
- Happiness requires struggle, and it comes from solving problems.
- Negative emotions are a vital part of emotional health, and can be channeled to your ultimate benefit. A simple example is instead of asking questions like “How do I stop suffering?” consider asking yourself instead, “Why am I suffering? For what purpose?”.
- You are responsible for your life, regardless of fault, because you can always decide what you make of your circumstances.
In my work as a mediator I am working with people daily who are grieving, angry, sad and anxious. I have found that if a person is capable of seeing a relationship break down as an opportunity to improve themselves, learn, adapt and become a problem solver, starting with reaching agreement about the legal terms of the end of their relationship, they are well on their pathway to future happiness.